


Not Exactly

by theknightofdoom



Series: DAVEKAT WEEK 2015 [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks, Davekat Week, Day 2, M/M, Masturbation, Sloppy Makeouts, Species Swap, davekat - Freeform, troll!dave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 09:58:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4701860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theknightofdoom/pseuds/theknightofdoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dreambubbles always had some intrestingly weird shit going on inside of them. For Karkat, this was probably not the weirdest, but most definitely the most interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Exactly

**Author's Note:**

> wow that summary sucked LMAO
> 
> this is mature because they dont technically bump the uglies and the masturbation is only really implied, but if you think i should bump it up to explicit then i will!
> 
> ps typos everywhere i cry

You always had thought Dave was attractive for a weird squishy alien that evolved from "apes". It never occurred to you to think of how he would look as a troll. Like, why would you? But here he was, in front of you, and it was _definitely_  Dave and he was  _definitely_  a troll.

The answer to the question you never thought was: he was very fucking hot.

You aren't even surprised by Troll Dave existing, of course. The dream bubbles were so obnoxiously strange, this fucking  _pales_ to some of the shit you've seen.

"Woah," says troll Dave.

"Woah," you agree. "So, like, are you a troll in this timeline? Am I a  _human_?"

"Pretty much, bro." he nods, and you're certain he's still staring at you from behind his shades (of course, why wouldn't they be a universal constant!). By now you've pretty much gotten the art of tracking Dave's gaze down.

"This is, fuck, really weird." you admit, but you kind of can't stop looking at him. Something about him being a member of your species is making you even  _more_ attracted to him, which is kind of worrying. You figure it's okay to blatantly stare, because, well, this wasn't  _your_ Dave. The real Dave won't know. You don't have to worry about him freaking out and your friendship being ruined.

"Is it okay for me to say that I kinda want to jump your bones right now? Because I really do, is that messed up for me to say, because if it is, I'm sorry, dude. I'm just thinkin' this way no ' _real_ ' relationships get fucked over, would hate to fuck it up with human you, guess you're the same with human me- wait, unless, like, you're already in a relationship with him. Shit, is human me gonna try and fuck me up with his stupid blunt teeth and shit because I hit on his matesprit? Oh man, fuck, okay, that'd actually be really funny, but-"

"Oh, my god." you huff loudly, cutting him off. "I'm not Dave's matesprit, I'm not Dave's  _anything,_  Jesus Christ." 

It's silent for a second, and Troll Dave seems a little embarrassed, like he's about to backpedal, and you realize he probably took that the wrong way because he's stupid and  _Dave_

"But, I'm still up. For that. Whatever it was exactly."

He opens his mouth a little, but he doesn't speak, just makes this little noise that sounds like the whole feeling of "oh", and then he's really close to you and you can  _feel_ his heat. He's really warm. Warmer than human Dave.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks, and fuck, his voice is low and a little growly, and you're sure Dave's voice can't do that.

So you answer him by slamming your lips into his, and his hands are on your hips, _oh he's so warm_ , and goddamn he's a good kisser.

Part of you thinks _"I should do this more often"_ , and another part thinks  _"this is a bad idea_ " and another part of you drowns them all out and shoves your hand down the front of Dave's dark skinny jeans.

It was harder to do that you expected (normal Dave would have a field day with that), and your palm gets stuck against the smooth flesh covering the top of his sheath so that your fingers can only just brush against the tip of his already unsheathing bulge - but Dave moans anyway.

_Wow, someone's eager._

Troll Dave's lips separate from yours with a wet noise, which, okay, now you really are turned on. You're about to complain when his mouth is swooping down to sucks at the skin on your throat, and you make a low, rumbling noise in your chest. He makes it back at you. Damn, human Dave couldn't do that, or bite into your flesh like  _that_ and you actually do moan.

Due to you being pressed even closer together than before, your hand is completely stuck in it's current, kind of awkward position, but it seems his bonebulge has completely unsheathed now, and is pushing up to meet your fingers in a way that is at least more than a pathetic ghost over the tip, even if it still isn't much.

His hands moved at some point and, shit, now they're at your horns and your pretty sure he just let out a breathy laugh against you neck at the nubbyness, but you don't have time to get annoyed at the douche and his douchey long, curved horns, because _fuck_ he knows what he's doing with his hands.

Dave moves back a little, although he doesn't stop caressing your horns, just moves from the keratin to the bed (fucking hell is that distracting), and you open your eyes.

_(When did you close them?)_

He grins lazily, pushing down your sweatpants and dampening boxers to reveal your already pretty lubed up bulge. He offers his fingers to it, hand movig skillfully against the sensitive red flesh and  _now you are moaning, god that's loud_.

Prompted by him squeezing you a little, oh man oh man, you finally use your free hand which hand been curled against Troll Dave's chest to unzip and lower his jeans, carefully guiding his pretty eager  _red_ bulge to yours. You only hesitate for a second when you realize the color, because you're really horny right now.

"You're - _ah-_ a freak of nature too-ooh, huh?" you mutter, faintly amused.

"I could, -hnn- say the same thing to you."

Instead of replying you kiss him again, tangling your hands in his black hair- which is surreal, because Dave has  _white_ hair. But, then again, this isn't him, he's not your Dave.

And then, right in the middle of what was probably going to be some really great sex, you feel that familiar disturbing feeling of a dream bubble physically _passing through you_ , pushing past.

You open your eyes and move back quick enough to get a final look at Troll Dave; his face flushed red, lips parted in surprise, bulge intertwined with yours, and then, like that, he's gone.

You're left standing in the middle of your room, sweatpants and underpants pushed below your knees, your bulge curling up frictionlessly into the air as you pant heavily.

So, you take a deep breath, and do the thing almost any hormonal teen boy would do after almost having sex with not-quite object of their affections.

_(it kind of counts, right?)_

You get off, face red and mind filled with the fresh memories of not-exactly-Dave's lips and his voice low in your ear and the feeling of his fingers and-

Then you pretend,  **at all costs** , that you never met Troll Dave in the bubbles. **  
**


End file.
